Some things, I definitely find hard to understand. A tweet read “a man who apologizes very well is a dangerous thing” and on reading it, I went “Whattttt? Really?” I mean, I didn’t know that. Ladies complain that men never apologize, even when they are wrong and now one who does is a dangerous thing? Then what do we want? Can we just pick a struggle already?
So I spoke to a guy friend of mine and he explained it from the perspective of ladies seeing guys who apologize a lot to be wimps. So when they are at fault, they say sorry and when they are not, they still say sorry. He said that some ladies view those types of guys as always wanting to suck up to them and please them all the time without acting like MEN.
I was in shock for a little bit before I conditioned my mind to try to see his point. I eventually saw it but still didn’t see the “dangerous thing” part. So he explained further. Here, he looked at it from the perspective of just doing it, not necessarily to show he’s sorry or always make her happy but to avoid unnecessary drama and possibly nagging. So when the woman goes “you know I don’t like being kept waiting; I have been here for thirty minutes sitting alone and everyone was starting to look at me weirdly….”. Instead of letting her rant, he just cuts in with “I know honey, it was definitely my fault. I’m so sorry, the traffic was terrible. You know I wouldn’t have left you here for that long otherwise”. Instantly, the woman is placated and she stops all the ranting or complaining. Simply put, he said sorry always calms women, whether the men mean it or not, which can be a bad thing.
He also highlighted the point of ‘believability’. That if a woman known her man apologizes a lot, because most men don’t, she will look at him at ‘one of the few good ones’ so he’ll be able to do practically anything; steal from her, cheat on her etc and make up excuses and then and apologize profusely for it and she’ll not just accept but believe him completely because ‘he’s a good man’.
With all these said, I had to see his reasoning but was still adamant about it being a dangerous things except in cases where it was being used for manipulation and deceit. Or maybe, I’m just biased because I’m not a very apologetic person and so I’d like a man who says sorry first. Maybe…. hmmmmm.
Article by Soomto Ajanma
