Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are usually incredibly private about their personal lives and their family. As such, this means that certain factions of the media (you know, the kind who thrive on scandal and baseless rumours) are often forced to… well, to make things up about the couple, in order to shift copies of their magazines and papers.
So what’s the latest so-called “scoop” on Kunis and Kutcher? Well, according to one tabloid, the couple – who have been married for four years and share two children – are getting a divorce.
Rather than pen a lengthy statement denying the claims, though, Kunis and Kutcher decided to have a little fun at the expense of the tabloid in question.
Taking to Instagram, the couple shared a video of them sat in a car together and reading the report.
In it, we see Kunis mischievously holding a screenshot of the magazine – which had been sent to her by a friend – up to the camera.
Kutcher, looking directly down the lens, then furrows his brow in concern and asks: “Babe, what’s happening? What’s going on?”
“It’s over between us,” she responds.
Kutcher, playing along, accepts their fate with just the right amount of mock despair.
“Oh my god, what are we gonna do?” he asks.
“I felt suffocated,” Kunis reads from the magazine, ignoring him.
“You felt suffocated by me?” he responds. “Oh, I was just so overbearing, wasn’t I?”
As if that wasn’t enough bad news to take in, Kutcher is left utterly, utterly floored when Kunis informs him that she “took the kids”.
“Oh, you took the kids?” he says, clearly exasperated that he doesn’t remember such a major event playing out. “I don’t get the kids anymore?”
“Well, you had a very dark secret exposed,” she counters.
A baffled Kutcher asks: “Oh my gosh, what was the dark secret?”
Kunis, though, admits that she’s as unsure about all of this as he is.
“I don’t know,” she says, “I only have this photo.”
While the video is all fun and games, Kutcher made sure to name and shame the publication in question in his Instagram caption.
“I guess it’s over,” he wrote. “In Touch Weekly, have fun selling magazines this week.”
Then, poking fun at the countless other tabloids who have published false stories about the couple in the past, he added: “Maybe next week my wife will be having twins. For the third time. But who’s counting?”
Kunis and Kutcher are far from the first celebrities to be subjected to baseless divorce rumours, and we doubt they will be the last. Earlier this year, Sarah Jessica Parker took to Instagram to share an email from the National Enquirer requesting comment on the state of her marriage.
Why? because they had an alleged eyewitness account claiming Parker and Broderick got into a “screaming match… just days before their 22nd wedding anniversary.”
“Hey, National Enquirer and your sister publications, why not celebrate a marriage of 22 years and relationship of 27 years?” she wrote, adding that “there was no ‘screaming match’ as alleged in a restaurant or on the street, nor was there a confrontation as alleged about his time in London.”
SJP continued: “Despite your endless harassment and wasted ink, we are nearing three decades of love, commitment, respect, family and home.
