Let’s Talk About Sex: “My Vagina Is Always Dry During Sex, What Can I Do About It?”

Q: I am seriously thinking about giving up on sex altogether. It has gotten to a point that it’s not even pleasurable anymore.

My vagina is always dry during sex. No matter how much foreplay me and my partner engage in, it never works. I get wet for a while but within a few seconds, it’s all dry again. It has always been like this since I started being sexually active. I’ve even had a boyfriend break up with me over this.

I don’t know what else to do. Please, help.

A: This must be very frustrating for you. From your letter, it’s clear that your inability to get naturally lubricated during sex is not an isolated thing. There are a few reasons you may consider.

If your vagina is always dry during sex, you may have low estrogen levels. Estrogen is the hormone responsible for the thin layer of liquid in the walls your vagina that keeps you lubricated. You may need to see a gynecologist and undergo a checkup to confirm this. If this is the problem, they can prescribe some estrogen boosting products which come in form of creams and tablets.

It’s also possible that you’re reacting to certain things you put in or around your vagina. Perhaps you’re allergic to the lubricant brand you use, or soaps/creams. You could try changing any of this to see if it helps.

When your vagina is always dry during sex, the most common reason is usually a lack of arousal. So ask yourself if the kind and duration of foreplay you engage in works for you. It may be time to switch things up in the bedroom and try something new.

It’s also worth considering that you may be having some emotional or psychological problem that’s blocking your arousal. Perhaps you’re under a lot of stress, unattracted to your partner or even have a negative view of pleasurable sex. A past experience with abuse or molestation could also be the root cause of your lack of arousal.

If you’ve tried everything possible in the bedroom and you do not believe there’s a psychological hindrance then it may be time to see a doctor and see what advice they have to offer.

Good luck.