Breakups are hard for sure. But no matter how much we tell ourselves we’re better off not having a toxic person in our lives, we still sometimes go back.
You know someone is wrong for you. Deep down, you also know he will never change, but you still have that desire to get back with your ex. You’re not alone. Many people have found themselves in similar vicious circles of makeup and breakup, and there’s a reason why it happens.
The fear of being alone
Giving the choice, many people would rather be in a bad relationship than be single. It sounds insane but logic does not really have anything you do with it. If this sounds like you, the only way to break the circle of pain and hurt is to understand that being alone is actually okay.
You think you can change him
Women are nurturers meaning we love taking care of people. You believe if you love them enough, they will change from their bad ways and love you back. This can’t be further from the truth. You can’t love away people’s problems and bad habits. A person only changes if they want to.
You’re insecure
This means you don’t believe you can do better. You probably tell yourself that all other guys out there are worse so you may as well stick with the ‘devil you know.’ This is a terrible way to go through life. You do deserve to be loved. And there are good men out there.
Your identity is tied to being in a relationship
Sometimes, you may get back with your ex because you don’t know who you are outside your relationship or any relationship for that matter. You don’t have an identity besides being someone’s girlfriend so you keep returning to what’s safe even though you get hurt over and over again. To deal with this, you have to figure out your life outside of your romantic partnerships. Try to keep busy by finding a job you love, starting a business you’re passionate about or even getting a hobby.
