When Fraser Harvey declared himself Sensory Lab’s Customer of the Week, there was no way he could have foreseen what would unfold as a result of his actions.

Fraser, from Melbourne, regular frequents the coffee shop and, because there’s no loyalty card scheme, he took matters into his own hands and put up a poster announcing himself as Customer of the Week.

The next time he popped in for a coffee, however, he noticed he had an adversary – and she’d gone and trumped him by putting up a FRAMED photo of herself as Customer of the Week.

The cafe near work doesn’t have a loyalty program so I made one for them

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I go back in and am confronted by this horseshit. Another customer has tried to one up me. They’ve just made a very unpowerful enemy.

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Not to be outdone, Fraser then hit back and created an actual certificate .

Seriously, who has this much time on their hands?

I’ve just presented them with a much, much larger certificate

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But his foe was not one to back down easily, and the next time Fraser went in, he saw this, which is an elegant masterclass in trolling .

I’m absolutely furious

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It seemed as if the battle was won – but Fraser managed to pull off a stunning coup with loyalty cards and staff uniforms.

I have returned with the Fraser Harvey Memorial Coffee Loyalty Programme

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Great news! The new staff uniforms have arrived!

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This seems to have done the trick, as his nemesis has not made an attempt to counter this.“I think that I can speak on behalf of the staff too when I say that I am certainly No 1 now,” he said. “The establishment of the Fraser Harvey Memorial Coffee Loyalty Programme only further solidifies the status.”

He added: “A lot of people are asking me why it’s a memorial programme when I’m still alive. It’s gravitas. Really commands the respect of the other customers.”

The drama has been lapped up by customers and staff alike, but Harvey said he still knew nothing about his rival. “We have never met, but I’m sure it would be incredibly thrilling for her to meet Sensory Lab’s No 1 customer,” he told The Guardian .